Emotion management and stress coping

First acknowledge the rationality of emotions, then use methods that match your own characteristics to divert the current pressure, and finally build an exclusive emotional buffer zone. You don’t need to pursue "perfect emotionlessness". You can win if you can "not internally consume yourself when emotions come, and don't collapse when pressure is high."

To be honest, my earliest understanding of this matter was changed after I stepped into a big pit. I worked as an e-commerce operator for the past two years and was responsible for a major promotion project. The day before the event, the backend system suddenly crashed. Hundreds of user complaints were filed. The boss tracked the data progress three times in half an hour. The technical side was still troubleshooting and was not sure. My hands were shaking at the time. My first reaction was "I am "The project leader can't panic." He gritted his teeth and suppressed his emotions before assigning tasks. As a result, the more he stressed, the more confused his mind became. He even wrote the template for the user's comfort text message incorrectly three times. In the end, the girl in the same group gave me a glass of iced Americano and said, "Why don't you go sit in the stairwell for two minutes?" I'm staring over here." I squatted in the stairwell and blew the wind for five minutes, cursing the useless system. My mood improved, and I straightened out all the plans in half an hour after I got back.

Interestingly, the psychology community has been arguing about the processing of emotions and stress for so many years, but there is no unified conclusion. Supporters of the cognitive behavioral school (CBT) believe that all negative emotions essentially come from "unreasonable cognitions." For example, if you are scolded by your boss and feel "I am going to be fired and I can't do anything well," as long as you get rid of this biased cognition, the emotion will naturally disappear. I have tried this method, and it really works. The last time I made a quarterly report, I was criticized so much that I took out a sticky note and wrote down three projects that were completed that month, and I instantly jumped out of the "I am a waste" emotion. But from the perspective of existential psychology, forcing cognition is denying the rationality of emotions: great pressure is great, grievance is grievance, and you have to force yourself to "it's not a big deal", which is essentially another kind of internal friction. I once had a colleague who was a typical "emotionally stable model." When the project failed, she smiled and said it was okay. She worked overtime for a month and said she could handle it. But last month she fainted at her workstation due to stress hyperthyroidism. After she was discharged from the hospital, she said that she had to sit in the car in a daze for half an hour every day when she got home from work, and she didn't even have the strength to open the door.

Oh, by the way, I have tried the mindfulness breathing method that is very popular on the Internet. Others can quickly calm down when they use it. As soon as I close my eyes, my mind is filled with to-do lists. On the contrary, the more I sit, the more anxious I become. Then I just gave up. It was no big deal. Really, there is no standard of right or wrong in this matter: some people feel great after running five kilometers when they are stressed, while some people feel even more annoyed after running two steps. Then it is better to sit on the sofa and watch two episodes of a stupid drama. ； Some people feel wronged and just complain to their friends. Some people get angrier as they talk, so it's better to just stay and play with Lego for two hours. As long as the method does not hurt yourself, does not affect others, and can release the blocked energy, it is a good method. I always have a mint candy stuffed in my bag now. When I am in an emergency, I will suck one. The half-minute of coolness on the tip of my tongue is enough for me to suppress the surging emotions for half a minute. I have been using this little habit for three years, and it is more effective than any high-level emotion management class.

If you say that these small methods are not enough and you really can’t bear it, don’t hold on. HR friends I have contacted said that many large companies now place "emotional toughness" in the recruitment criteria higher than business ability. They are not recruiting robots who will not get angry, but people who can quickly put themselves back together even if they collapse. If you really feel like you can’t stand it anymore, go for a few EAP consultations, or simply take two days off to sleep in the dark. There is no shame at all - just like if your phone is out of battery and needs to be recharged, you can’t force it to run large games with low battery, right?

At the end of the conversation, there wasn't really much to say. Emotions and stress are a part of human life. Just like when you are driving on a rainy day, you don't have to force the rain to stop, and don't deliberately plunge into puddles. Drive slower, turn on the wipers, and if you can't, stop on the side of the road for a while and wait until the rain subsides before walking. You can reach your destination no matter what. There is no such thing as a perfect emotion management master. We are just ordinary people wiping away tears while rushing.