Workplace Mental Health Lecture

For the vast majority of ordinary working people, the key to balancing work advancement and psychological self-consistency is never to "get rid of emotions" or "just wait until management", nor to resign and change jobs if they disagree, but to build their own "workplace emotional firewall" - to clearly separate "evaluation of work events" and "judgment of self-worth", and at the same time find the lowest-cost emotional relief channel that does not disturb others.

Last week, I was doing a Q&A session at an Internet company in Hangzhou. A little operations girl who was born in 1998 gave me a crumpled note, saying that she changed the 7th version of the big promotion plan last month but was rejected by the director, saying that it would be better to use the first version. She hid that day. She cried in the company toilet cubicle for 40 minutes. She went to buy finger cakes after get off work and had an extra intestine but her boss missed it. When she got home, her cat knocked over the aromatherapy she just bought. She sat on the floor and collapsed until the early hours of the morning. All she could think about was "Why can't I do anything well?"

In fact, there is a lot of quarrel online now about workplace emotions, with the two groups having completely opposite views. One group is the standard "Wolf Nature Theory in the Workplace". When it comes to working, you should not be conceited. Emotions are a sign of incompetence. Which executive have you seen who would cry just because he changed his plan a few times? Being able to do things is the core competitiveness in the workplace. The other faction is the "anti-PUA faction" that has been particularly popular in the past two years. They say that you should ignore everything your boss says. If you are unhappy, just complain and quit if you don't feel comfortable. It's just a job, there is no need to wrong yourself, and no one can consume you.

I have here a copy of the "Research White Paper on Mental Health in the Workplace" released by Zhaopin and the Chinese Psychological Society last year. The data shows that 87.2% of people in the workplace have experienced burnout to varying degrees - yes, this concept was invented by American psychologist Herbert Floodenberg. First proposed by Ge in 1974, it refers to the state of physical and mental exhaustion under the pressure of work, among which young people under the age of 35 account for more than 92%. The top three triggers are "lack of reciprocal feedback for efforts", "interpersonal friction in the workplace" and "not feeling the meaning of work". You see, you are not the only one with a bad mentality, it is the vast majority of people who are carrying it, but they don’t tell you.

I talked with a full-time EAP consultant at a leading Internet company before, and she told me a particularly interesting detail: many people come for consultation, and the first thing they say is "Am I too fragile?" "Why can my colleagues carry it but I can't?" However, the P9 business leader she had contacted who was just promoted last year would hide in the company's fire escape during lunch break, eating strawberry ice cream and crying. After crying enough, he would wipe his face and go back to have an alignment meeting with clients. His logic was so clear that no one could tell that he shed tears just half an hour ago.

Many people ask me how to build this emotional firewall? In fact, there is really no high-level methodology. To put it bluntly, it is first clear whether "you are criticizing things or people." I know a little girl who has been an administrator for 5 years. She used to go home and suffer from insomnia after her boss said a few words. Later, she specially made a small notepad. Every time her boss lost his temper, she would first write down his status that day: "On Monday, I wore the denim jacket that I didn't change from last week. I clocked in 3 minutes late in the morning. I scolded me for ordering lemon tea for afternoon tea. It was so sour. I turned around and saw him secretly ordering full-sugar bubble milk tea. "On Wednesday, I just came out from the CEO meeting and scolded me for not adjusting the screen projection in the conference room. In fact, he picked up the wrong computer adapter." After less than three months, she now watched her boss lose his temper as if watching a reality show, and she didn't even take half of her emotions to heart.

Of course, some people say that I am naturally sensitive. What should I do if I can’t be so big-hearted? No one forces you to practice to become an iron wall. Different schools of psychology have different suggestions for emotional relief. The psychoanalytic school recommends that you find a safe outlet to pour out your emotions. The cognitive behavioral school recommends that you change your interpretation of events. Just do whatever makes you feel comfortable. I've seen many people have their own tips: There is a back-end programmer who goes home from get off work every day and plays Lego for 10 minutes. After finishing the 10 minutes of playing Lego, he completely forgets about going to work. ； There is a girl who works for a brand. She buys an iced Coke from the vending machine downstairs of the company after get off work every day. She drinks it while standing on the roadside before leaving. The time spent with this Coke is her "emotional buffer zone".” ； What's even more bizarre is that there is a special folder called "Workplace Crazy Words" in the mobile memo. When you are wronged, you can go in and write all the curse words. After you finish writing, you will delete it without even leaving a record. You can let go of your anger without offending anyone.

Oh, by the way, let me say something in advance. This firewall does not mean that you should not take it seriously. If you don’t want to go to work every day for three months in a row, and you feel flustered and tight when you think about work, then don’t bear it. It’s time to see a doctor. It’s time to change jobs. After all, work is to live, not to make your life miserable.

The little operations girl who handed me a note last week also sent me a screenshot of Moments last week. She now has three decompression knapsacks in her desk drawer. Every time she makes a change to the plan, she squeezes it for two minutes. When the plan was changed again last week, she crushed a knapsack, turned around and marked the director's opinion in red to complete the changes. After get off work, she went to eat crayfish with her friends directly, which did not delay the weekend script killing at all. You see, it’s really not that difficult. The workplace is basically a trading place where you get paid to do things. Don’t involve all your emotions and emotions, and you’ll win most of it. Oh, by the way, friends who came today will receive a little penguin at the door when the show is over. I wish everyone will have less trouble and more good mood at work in the future.