Emotion management pdf

The vast majority of standardized emotion management materials that can be found on the Internet are ineffective - either copying the ABC theory from textbooks, or anti-human disciplines that require everyone to "stop anger, stop irritability, and maintain emotional stability." There is never a unified template for truly useful emotion management tools. They have to match your temperament type, triggering scenarios, and personal tolerance. I have compiled 3 types of implementable methods that have been verified by 120+ consulting cases, with controversial points and applicable boundaries of different schools, so you no longer need to waste time searching for scattered resources.

To put it bluntly, many people have saved tens of gigabytes of emotion management pdfs and put them in a network drive to gather dust, but they won’t be able to use even half of them when something happens. Last week, a visitor who worked in Internet operations came to me and said that he had searched no less than 50 pieces of information and had taken half a notebook of notes. Last week, he was criticized and scolded by Party A for changing the 8th version of the plan. He still couldn't help but dropped the keyboard. He regretted it when he turned around and felt that his emotional management was too poor. I looked through the information she had saved, and all of them were "Take a deep breath first when you encounter negative emotions, and think about yourself in others' perspective." It didn't mention what to do if deep breathing doesn't work, nor did it say that you have no energy to think about yourself in others' perspective after staying up for three consecutive days and nights.

Interestingly, counselors from different schools actually have very different views on emotion management, and they are not at all as "politically correct" as written in the online PDF. Most counselors in the cognitive-behavioral school will promote the ABC theory, which tells you that "it is not the event itself that triggers your emotions, but your perception of the event." I often use this method with clients, but I have to make clear the applicable boundaries in advance: it is only suitable for people who are more rational and whose emotional triggers are cognitive biases. For example, if your boss says something to you and you feel like "I'm going to be fired and I can't do anything well," adjusting your cognition will be very effective at this time. But if you have been working overtime for 21 consecutive days and your physiological threshold has reached the top, and you still force yourself to "adjust your cognition", you are just looking for trouble for yourself.

For this kind of emotional outburst under physiological limits, it is more effective to use physiological adjustment methods related to neuroscience. I keep a thick rubber band in my pocket all year round. When I get emotional, I can bounce it. The sharp pain will instantly pull you out of the emotional whirlpool. It is much more effective than saying "Don't be angry" silently 10 times. There is also a more ruthless method of applying ice water to your face. When you are emotional, bury your face in the water mixed with ice for 10 seconds. The vagus nerve will be stimulated and your heart rate will be instantly lowered, and the anger will be eliminated by half. Of course, many colleagues in the psychoanalytic school do not approve of this method, thinking that it is "repression that treats the symptoms but not the root cause." You will still explode next time you encounter the same thing, and you have to dig into the root of your emotions.

This is true. I met a girl with a please-pleaser personality before. She tried all methods. As long as her colleagues asked her to help with work that was not hers, she did not dare to refuse and would turn around and get sulky. Later, I simply didn’t let her learn “emotional stability” and asked her to practice “having an attack on the spot” first. The first time she was asked to take over the class, she held it in for a long time and said, “I don’t have time, you can do it yourself.” Her whole body was shaking after saying that. But after that time, she never felt internally consumed by this kind of thing again. Later, when we talked about it, I found out that when she was a child, her mother would scold her for being "ignorant" every time she rejected someone. Over the years, she had engraved the association of "rejection = I am not good" into her subconscious. Any adjustment methods she used before were useless. The essence was that she did not see the child herself hidden behind the emotions.

Oh, by the way, there is another pitfall that many PDFs won’t mention: don’t believe in the nonsense of “becoming the master of your emotions”. Emotions are already a part of your body. The more you want to control them, the easier it is to be controlled by them. This is what is often called the white bear effect in psychology. The more you tell yourself “Don’t think about the white bear,” the clearer the white bear in your mind becomes. I have a sales visitor who used to force himself to "don't be nervous, don't be nervous" every time before meeting a customer. As a result, his hands were shaking so much that he couldn't even hold the contract. Later, I asked him to stop holding on and told the customer directly before meeting the customer, "It's my first time meeting you today. Please bear with me if I say anything wrong." After saying that, he immediately relaxed and the signing rate increased a lot.

In fact, you really don’t need to find dozens or hundreds of PDFs to save, you just need to find 1-2 small methods that suit you. For example, when social anxiety comes over in the company and I don’t want to be seen, I go to the toilet and squat for 5 minutes to count the tiles. When I count 20 tiles, I basically calm down. ； People who are usually more emotional don't need to force themselves to be rational. They can prepare a special "emotional tree hole book". If you really need the practical manual that I compiled by group of people and by scene, you can leave a message and I will send it to you, saving you the trouble of searching everywhere but still not finding anything useful.