Standard answers to workplace mental health

The standard answer to mental health in the workplace has never been the "10 principles" or "3 mental methods" that can be found everywhere on the Internet, but a "customized survival manual" that belongs only to you - there is no unified format, no required fields, and the perfect answer is that you feel comfortable, don't feel internally consumed, and can get the rewards you want.

Last week, I had dinner with an operations girl who had just graduated a year ago. She had a 30G "workplace psychological self-help kit" stored in her phone, including NLP emotional control methods, emotional value formulas for large companies, and 100 items for upward management. She knew it better than memorizing the SOPs for her own activities. But last week, she hid in the fire stairwell and cried for half an hour because the leader said, "Think about this plan again." She asked me if there was something I didn’t do well, and why did I follow the standard answer but it still didn’t work?

In fact, she is not the only one, many people fall into the trap of treating other people’s experience as a universal formula. I read the literature on positive psychology a while ago, and it was repeatedly emphasized that "sense of boundaries" is the core of mental health in the workplace. It is necessary to completely separate work and life, cut off all work contacts after get off work, and leave enough "self-care time" every week without being interrupted. My friend who works as an administrator in the system has followed this routine for two years. He locks his work phone in the drawer after get off work and goes hiking on weekends. His mood has become much more stable, and even the nodules on the physical examination report have disappeared. But I recommended this method to a friend who works as a technician in a startup company. He rolled his eyes and said, if I dare to turn off my mobile phone after get off work, the first person my boss will turn on will be me if there is a problem with the project. I won’t be able to pay the rent by then, so what’s the use of caring anymore?

There is also a type of "emotional desensitization method" that has been touted by workplace bloggers. They say that emotions should be used as tools and not take criticism from leaders and blame-blaming by colleagues seriously. In essence, it means treating oneself as a robot and abandoning all personal feelings. A sales director I know is a loyal believer in this method. Last year, his team's performance dropped by 30% and he was scolded by his boss. He turned around and drank afternoon tea with his customers with a smile. He said, "If I bother with the two words my boss scolded me, my team bonus will be gone this month. Is it cost-effective?" ”But the design girl at my former company just believed this. No matter how outrageous the demands made by Party A, she suppressed her temper and changed. She didn't even say a word when she was robbed of her credit. After saving for half a year, she collapsed at a regular department meeting. She went to the hospital to find out that she was moderately depressed. The doctor said that her emotions had never disappeared, but were all blocked in her body.

There is no one-size-fits-all answer.

I was chatting with a friend who works as an enterprise EAP before. She has been doing workplace psychological counseling for almost ten years, and she said that the most effective method she has ever seen is never to copy a template, but to first figure out what your core demands are. If you want this job to be stable, there is nothing shameful in learning to accept the anger of your immediate superiors once in a while. It is not a mistake to lose your job for the so-called "integrity". ； If you want to gain experience and change jobs, then your colleagues can take on more work and work overtime as if they are getting paid for project experience. There is no need to worry about "Am I being PUAd" every day?” ； If you are not short of money at all and just find something to do when you go to work, then you can just slap back anyone who dares to embarrass you. The most important thing is to feel comfortable.

I also stocked up on a bunch of "Mental Health Guides in the Workplace" a few years ago. As mentioned above, I threw my work phone in the drawer after get off work. As a result, I missed a message from a client and was scolded for a full hour. Instead, I emo'ed for three days.； Later, I followed other people’s example of “emotional desensitization” and endured being robbed of my credit. As a result, I was so angry that I couldn’t sleep and got up to write my resignation letter at two o’clock in the middle of the night. It took me many times to figure it out, why should I live by the standard answers written by others? I have a bad temper, and I will scold someone who blames me. But no one dares to mess with me, which saves a lot of internal friction. ； When I'm tired, I just want to lie down on the sofa and watch earthy short videos for three hours. I don't have to force myself to read a book and exercise. As long as I can work hard the next day, I can do whatever makes me feel comfortable.

It's a bit ironic to say that many people's emotional problems in the workplace are not caused by the work itself at all, but are caused by rigid "standard answers". According to a survey on workplace mental health released by Zhaopin last year, nearly 70% of the respondents felt that they were "unhealthy at work." However, more than half of them made their own judgments based on online "health standards" - for example, the standard said "a healthy workplace state is no internal friction at all", but you will be anxious when working on projects. This is a normal person's stress reaction. As a result, when you compare it with the standard, you will have an additional layer of anxiety of "Why am I internally consumed again?", which is just looking for trouble.

Last week, the school girl who had saved a 30G self-rescue kit sent me a message, saying that she had deleted all the information. Yesterday, the leader said there was a problem with her plan. She asked on the spot whether it was wrong logic or the wrong direction. After making the changes, she went to eat a spicy Chongqing hot pot, went home and fell asleep without any worries. You see, the survival rules she compiled by herself are better than all the standard answers on the Internet.

After all, your feet grow on your own body. Only you know whether wearing shoes is comfortable or not.