Open class on workplace mental health and stress relief

There is no "magic prescription for relieving stress in the workplace" that can cure all problems. The most suitable adjustment plan for you must be found in the overlapping area of ​​"professional identity requirements" and "real self-needs" - you don't have to force yourself to take blood every day to be a positive energy model, nor do you have to yell for resignation when you encounter pressure.

The consultation case I just received last week was from an operations manager in the Internet industry. He graduated from 985 just three years ago and was promoted to supervisor only two months ago. He sent me messages at two o'clock in the morning for three weeks in a row, saying that he cried for half an hour in front of a blank activity plan PPT. The more he wrote, the more he felt that he was not worthy of this position. I had tried methods such as meditation posted online and running 5 kilometers after get off work, but they were useless. When I was free, my mind was filled with conversion rate data in the background. My whole body was as stretched as a bow stretched to its limit, and it would break if I touched it again.

In fact, the academic community has been arguing about the sources of workplace stress for almost 20 years, but there is no unified conclusion. One group is "environmental determinism", which believes that all psychological problems in the workplace are caused by unreasonable work systems - boss PUA, meaningless overtime, and vicious involution of colleagues. The corresponding solutions are anti-involution, lashing out at the boss, and changing jobs immediately if they are not suitable. Young people who have just entered the workplace for 0-3 years are particularly susceptible to this approach. However, I have had 4 people who had quit their jobs for more than half a year. When I came back to find a new job, my anxiety level doubled. The cost of explanation during the career gap period and the pressure of readjusting to a new team were even more stressful than working before. The other school is "cognitive determinism" that has become popular in recent years. It says that stress is essentially a problem with your cognition. You need to adjust your mentality, be an emotionally stable adult, and don't worry about trivial matters. But the complaint I’ve heard the most is that the most annoying thing is when people stand up and talk without pain in the back and urge me to “adjust my mentality.” When I work overtime until my stomach bleeds and my performance is robbed, I still smile and say it doesn’t matter. I just have a good mentality?

Both statements are correct, but they only apply to some people, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach.

If you really can’t tell whether your stress is caused by the environment or by overthinking, why not take 10 minutes to do a very simple little screening: take a note and write down all the things that made you irritable and upset you when you think about it in the past week, regardless of the size, even if it is "My colleagues always borrow my pen and don't return it". After you finish writing, first cross out all the things that "people push you, you can actually refuse, even if you refuse, it will not affect your performance", and then cross out all the things that "even if you fail, the worst result is just a scolding, but you will never lose your job." The remaining two or three things are the core stressors that you really need to spend your energy on dealing with. There was an administrative officer from a state-owned enterprise who visited me before. He wrote down 17 things that bothered me, but in the end there were only two things left: the overall preparation for the annual annual meeting, and the intermediate professional title exam next month. The rest were to help colleagues pick up couriers and help leaders write instructions for private dinners. Writing manuscripts and helping other departments organize files were all rejectable. After she refused twice, she told me that it turned out that the sky would not fall at all. Instead, she would have two more hours a day, so she could take the jazz dance class that she had signed up for for half a year and had not had time to go.

Nowadays, it is very popular on the Internet to say "disenchant your work" and "work is for making money, don't invest in real emotions." This saying is useful to many people, but it does not apply to everyone. I was previously visited by someone who was working on a rural charity project. After listening to this theory, I deliberately drew a clear line between myself and my work, and got off work at the right time. I was completely unconcerned about how the project was progressing. Going to work every day felt like visiting a grave, and I felt like I was just a tool for making PPT. Later, he went with the team to the mountains for a week and saw with his own eyes the children holding the picture books in the rural reading corner where he had been following for half a year and reluctant to let go. After returning, he felt less anxious. He said that in the past, he deliberately separated himself from his work too much, which made him feel like he was wearing a mask and acting for 8 hours a day, which was even more tiring. Now he is willing to spend more time on projects. Although he sometimes works overtime, he feels more at ease.

You see, some people are suitable to draw a clear boundary with their work and forget about work after work. Some people are suitable to find a sense of value in their work, and they will be happy even if they spend more time. There is no distinction between superior and inferior, as long as it suits you.

Most of the tips I usually give to clients are not high-level psychological therapies, but simple things that can be done casually. For example, every time you sit down for an hour at work, stand up and grab a glass of water while staring at the tree outside the window and counting 10 leaves. This method may seem silly, but it is much more effective than spending two hours meditating on an app after get off work. Stress builds up little by little, and you have to let it out little by little, instead of waiting until it explodes and then thinking about relieving it. There is another trick that many people are embarrassed to say. Find a safe person to complain to. Note that it cannot be a colleague in the same company. It is best to be a college classmate or a friend in the same industry and different companies. Spend half an hour every week to complain to each other. Don’t hold it in, and don’t force yourself to be an emotionally stable adult. I have seen too many people who have thyroid nodules and breast hyperplasia. Really, there is no shame in complaining. It is really a loss if you hold it in and get sick.

Oh, yes, there is one more thing I must say. If you have insomnia, can't eat, and are not interested in anything for more than two weeks in a row, don't force yourself to do it. See a professional psychological counselor or go to the psychiatry department of the hospital. It's like taking medicine for a serious cold. There is no shame at all.

When this open class was held offline last time, at the end, a kid who had just graduated raised his hand and asked me, is there any way to never be stressed in the workplace? I told him that it was impossible. As long as you are still working, you will be stressed, just like you will inevitably catch colds and fevers as long as you are alive. What we need to do is not to completely eliminate stress, but to learn to coexist peacefully with it. Don't let it invade your entire life and don't let it destroy your body. That's enough.