psychological stress theory

Psychological stress is never the one-way linear result of "external events → individual collapse", but the product of the interaction between the external environment, individual cognitive evaluation, and physiological basis. The ultimate direction of this theory is never to "completely eliminate stress", but to help you understand the source of stress and find the optimal solution to coexist with it.

Last month, I met an Internet operation girl in the consulting room who had just been working for half a year. She had been working on a big promotion project for three weeks and lost a third of her hair. She couldn't fall asleep until three o'clock in the morning every day. When she opened her eyes, she felt, "If the data of this event is not good, I will definitely be fired." But the senior employees in her group were quite calm, saying that it was normal to be busy with big promotions. If they couldn't handle it, they would apply to add more people. If it didn't work, the leader would take the blame in the end. With the same project intensity, the pressure responses of two people are completely different, which just hits the core logic of this theory - pressure is never given by the outside world, but comes from the collision between yourself and the outside world.

The first person to do stress research was the physiologist Seri. He did a lot of experiments on mice, and threw the little guys into an environment of hot and cold stimulation, noise, and electric shock. He found that no matter what type of external stimulation, the physiological reactions of mice were the same: they would first explode their hair and enter a state of alert, and then mobilize their body's hormones and energy to bear it. If they endure it for a long time, they will enter the exhaustion stage, and they are prone to ulcers, decreased immunity, and other problems. He named this set of reactions "General Adaptation Syndrome". He even thought that stress was a purely physiological problem and had nothing to do with what people think - but this view was discredited within a few years.

Yes, if stress is purely based on external stimulation, then why do some people cry for three days before eating and drinking when they are still in love, and some people stay depressed for half a year? Lazarus' cognitive evaluation theory just fills this gap. He said that the external event itself will not cause stress, but your two-level evaluation of the matter will: the first level is to judge "whether this matter threatens me", and the second level is to judge "do I have enough resources to handle it". Just like the operations girl, the first level judged "the big promotion data may not be good" as a "fatal threat to losing the job". The second level felt that she had just joined the job and had no connections and experience, and no one could help her if she couldn't handle it. The two levels of evaluation were superimposed, and the pressure naturally exploded. From the perspective of older employees, fluctuations in sales data are normal. If it doesn't work, they can still go to the leaders to apply for resources. Naturally, they don't think it's a big deal.

What’s interesting is that the academic community has been quarreling again in recent years. Many scholars who study social psychology say that the first two schools are too “individual-centered” and do not take into account that people live in the environment. Do you think that the operations girl can’t think of it herself? The leader of her group posts in the group every day, "If you can't do this project, everyone will get out." The entire team is working around the clock all year round. In addition, there are now overwhelming comments on the Internet that "if you are not in management at the age of 30, you are a loser." These environmental factors are piled together, and if you ask her to "adjust her cognition and don't be afraid," isn't this just standing up and talking without pain in the back? There are also more extreme views, saying that the "individual stress management courses" currently popular on the market are essentially to help capital shift the blame. It is obvious that the company works overtime illegally and the social evaluation system is too simple. In the end, employees themselves have to pay for their "poor ability to withstand stress". Why?

Of course, it cannot be said that cognitive adjustment is useless. I have been doing psychological intervention for 6 years and have seen too many people who take stress problems to extremes. Or it's all because of my "poor ability to withstand stress". When encountering pressure, I force myself to bear it until I collapse before asking for help. ； Either you blame the environment entirely, you complain about your boss and society every day, and you don't make any adjustments. In the end, the pressure still falls on you. In fact, to put it bluntly, different schools of theory correspond to different stress scenarios. No one is right or wrong at all: if you have been staying up for a week and only sleep 4 hours a day, then Seri’s set of physiological adjustments is the most effective. Sleeping for 12 hours first will be more effective than adjusting your cognition a hundred times. ； If you have had enough rest and still can’t help but think “If I don’t do well, it will be all over” every day, then Lazarus’ cognitive conditioning will be the best for you. ； If the company you work for is PUA every day, and everyone around you is spreading anxiety, then don't hesitate. The ecosystem school has the most practical solution - running away is better than any psychological construction.

I often use the analogy of visiting people. Pressure is like the bucket you carry in your hand. It also holds 5 liters of water. When you first carry it, it doesn’t feel like much. But after carrying it for two hours, it will definitely feel heavy.； If you have a cold and a fever and have no energy, you may feel tired even carrying 1 liter. ； If there are people next to you who keep urging you, "Why are you carrying it so slowly?", you will want to throw the bucket away in a minute. Everyone always talks about "improving your ability to withstand stress," but your ability to withstand stress never requires you to carry a heavier bucket. Instead, you have to first look at: Is the bucket filled with too much unnecessary water? Is it because you haven’t rested for too long and have no strength? Is there someone next to you who is deliberately causing trouble for you?

Oh, and there’s another point that’s easily overlooked: not all stress is bad. The Yerkes-Dodson law has long said that moderate pressure can make you perform better. People who are a little nervous before exams often get higher grades than those who are completely relaxed. When working on projects, there is a bit of deadline pressure, but the efficiency is much higher than those who work slowly. There is really no need to feel like you are facing an enemy whenever you feel stressed. After all, if you are not stressed at all, there is a high probability that you will be lying around checking your phone every day, and you will not be able to accomplish anything.

I met a kid who was a senior in high school last week. He always felt that "if he didn't pass the 985 exam, his life would be ruined." He was so stressed that his hands were shaking as soon as he arrived at the exam room. I chatted with him twice, and he slowly accepted that "even if he takes an ordinary exam, he can learn the major he likes." Last week's mock test actually scored more than 30 points more than last time. You see, understanding where stress comes from is much more useful than forcing yourself to "carry it". After all, we don’t live to fight against pressure. Being able to coexist peacefully with it is already half the battle won.