Experience on parenting and children’s health

There is no one-size-fits-all standard solution. All parenting choices must be based on the bottom line of evidence-based medicine, match your child's physical traits and personality characteristics, and give up the anxiety of "perfect health" is the most beneficial choice for your child's growth.

This is not something I say casually. When my baby had a fever of 39.2 degrees for the first time last winter, the family was divided into three groups: My mother followed the old method of covering the baby's sweat and cold. I saved several years of evidence-based parenting notes and said to wear less clothing and wipe more to physically cool down. My friend who is a pediatrician in traditional Chinese medicine also advised me that if it is a wind-chill fever with runny nose, don't forcefully wipe it with a cold towel, otherwise it will easily trap the cold air in the body. Each of the three parties had their own clinical support. I compromised in the end and put the baby in a thin cotton autumn coat without a quilt. I used a warm towel to wipe the neck and armpits to dissipate heat. At the same time, I drank less than half a bowl of green onion, ginger, brown sugar water that my friend told me. The temperature dropped in less than half a day, and I felt so energetic that I felt so good.

Don't tell me, I have encountered quite a lot of this kind of "everyone has his own reason" situation in the past few years. Let’s talk about adding complementary foods. Previously, I looked at the child care website and said that it must be added after 6 months. If it is too late, it will be iron deficient. But last time I went to child care, I met a Tibetan mother who said that in her hometown, they used to wait until their children can sit and actively reach out to grab things before adding complementary foods. Her baby only started eating rice noodles when he was 7 and a half months old. The iron content in the blood test was not low at all, and he was 2 centimeters taller than babies of the same month. The pediatrician who attended the consultation that day also said that the 6 months mentioned in the guideline is the average reference time. Some babies' tongue thrust reaction has not disappeared and they are not interested in adult meals. It is not a problem to wait a week or two later. However, forced feeding will easily make the baby resist eating, which is not worth the gain.

When it comes to food, I have been through a lot of trouble with supplements before. I saw other people saying that my baby needs DHA, milk calcium, and lysine supplements, which cost several thousand. But after half a year, the trace elements were found to be deficient. The director of child care also told me that there are more children with precocious puberty in the clinic every year, and many of them are caused by parents taking supplements indiscriminately and eating so-called "height-growing foods." Of course, there are different opinions. A TCM child care doctor I know said that some babies have normal indicators, but they don’t like to eat and have a yellowish complexion and thin skin. In this case, you don’t need to worry about supplements. You just need to adjust the spleen and stomach first. For example, eat more yam and millet porridge instead of iced drinks and cold fruits. My best friend’s baby did this for a month, and his appetite increased by one-third.

Oh, by the way, when many people talk about children's health these days, they only think about physical indicators. In fact, mental state has a great impact on children's immunity. There was a time when my husband and I always quarreled about work. During that time, our son always caught a cold and went to the hospital once every half month. Later, we made a point of not arguing in front of our son. We took him downstairs to run with the children for half an hour after dinner every day, and the number of times he got sick was reduced by more than half. There are even more controversies about parenting methods. Some people advocate unconditional parenting, saying that children should be given enough love and freedom, while others say that rules should be established early, otherwise the children will grow up without a sense of boundaries. I have tried both. For a sensitive and slow-moving child like mine, it is best to empathize first and then set rules. Okay - last time he went to the supermarket and asked for an Ultraman card. I hugged him first and said, "I know you really like this card. It's hard not to be able to buy it, right?" After he finished crying, I told him that we just bought it last week and we had to wait until next month to buy it. He followed him without fussing. But my colleague’s child has a careless personality and empathy is useless. He agreed in advance that he would not buy toys today, and he would just pick him up and take him away. After a few times, he knew that the rules should not be broken, and he rarely made trouble.

To be honest, I always liked to use various parenting scales to check on my baby. I was worried about the height difference of 1 centimeter. I was worried about being delayed for half a month, and I was worried about missing a mouthful of food. Until the last time my baby suffered from hand, foot and mouth problems, I was so scared that I had to go to the hospital. But the doctor said that he was in good spirits. I just need to drink antipyretics and spray throat sword at home. After a week of nursing at home, he was bouncing around. It was then that I realized that children's health is not about all indicators accurately stuck in the middle, nor is it never sick all year round. It is about children being able to run and jump, knowing how to eat when hungry and knowing how to sleep when sleepy, being able to cry when encountering unhappy things, being able to run around when they are happy, and being able to get better quickly even if they have minor problems. This is enough. Raising a baby is not like raising a standardized product. To put it bluntly, it means accompanying a sapling to grow slowly. After experiencing wind and rain, it will grow stronger.