Thoughts on mental health in the workplace

There has never been a "radical cure" for this matter. The essence is that you have to establish an emotionally flexible boundary between "personal demands" and "workplace rules" that can be loose or tight. There is no universal solution. All suggestions that advise you to "be patient" or "be firm" are just words on paper that have never been through real pitfalls.

Last month, I just helped two colleagues in the department to provide emotional counseling. The contrast was particularly interesting: a young girl who had just graduated worked overtime until 10 o'clock for three consecutive weeks. She even took a shower and was thinking about not finishing her weekly report. She was already mildly anxious when she went to the hospital for a checkup.； Another veteran operator who had been working for 7 years had just been robbed of project credit by his boss. He turned around and took his friends to have a drink of cold beer. He went to work as usual the next day without any emotion left. I used to think that older employees were born with a good attitude, but after a deeper conversation, I discovered that this was not the case at all - the young girl had taken the initiative to win the project, and she wanted to rely on it to get a spot in the regular evaluation, and she was willing to work harder and suffer a little more. ； The old operator had already saved his resume for his next job, and had planned to leave after receiving his year-end bonus. Naturally, there was no need to vent his anger on the boss. You see, when encountering workplace pressure, there is no distinction between two people's choices, it's just about matching their own stages.

Nowadays, there are basically two factions on the Internet about workplace psychology. One is the "mentality adjustment school" that looks inward and teaches you mindfulness, introspection, and digesting emotions. The other is the "border game school" that fights outwards and teaches you to argue with your boss, refuse to work, and leave when the point is reached. Both sides think that the other is a fool. I think both methods are useful, it just depends on your situation. I have a product-making friend who took the initiative to take on a hard-core project that no one had touched last year in order to compete for Ali P7. She got off work at 12 o'clock every day for three months in a row, and her boss was still chasing her about the progress. There is also a friend who works as an administrator. Her monthly salary is only 5,000 yuan. The company also allows her to pick up the boss’s children and buy coffee for the whole company for free every day. Before, she always wanted to be “emotionally stable” and held it in until she developed a thyroid nodule. Later she thought about it and all private work was done directly. She said, "I have to pick up my mom to cook after work, so I don't have time." Then she turned off the computer and left. No one dared to deal with her casually. Now the nodules have disappeared a lot. You said that if she fed herself the chicken soup that "young people have to endure more hardships" every day, she might end up in the hospital.

It's interesting to say that I went to an industry salon before and a psychology professor said that the psychological problems of many young people in the workplace today are not "bad mentality" at all, but "not enough money". The whole audience burst into laughter at that time, but if you think about it carefully, it is really true. If you are offered an annual salary of one million, you will most likely feel that your boss is scolding you to cultivate you, right? In fact, I think this is very similar to raising succulents. You can't see other people's succulents growing well in the sun, so you can move your own succulents that like shade to the sun. In the end, the succulents will definitely turn into water in the sun. You must first figure out what kind of succulents you have, and then choose the corresponding maintenance method.

In the past few years, I have accumulated a few little habits that have no scientific basis but are very useful. I will tell you here as a reference: always keep a pack of orange hard candies at your work station. If you encounter something bad, peel one off and eat it. Sweet things can suppress half of your anger.； During non-working hours, as long as the sky is not falling, I will come back to work the next day. At first, some colleagues said I was irresponsible. Later, everyone knew that I didn’t read messages after get off work, and no one could find me. ； Oh, and by the way, don’t take “emotional stability in the workplace” as a compliment. I’ve seen too many people suffer from breast nodules and thyroid nodules in order to maintain a “good temper” persona. It’s really unnecessary. Sending it out when you should be angry can actually help you screen out many people who want to take advantage of you.

Oh, by the way, I have to add, don’t believe in the nonsense that “as long as you have a thick skin, you won’t be hurt by the workplace.” There used to be a salesperson in the company who was really fearless and fished every day. The boss said he didn’t care. Later, he fired him as the first one to be laid off. He had a bad background and couldn’t find a suitable job after looking for three months. What kind of mental health do you think this is? In the final analysis, it doesn't mean that you should lie down completely, it just means that you have to think clearly about what you want now and what price you are willing to pay.

Harmful, to put it bluntly, the workplace is where you sell your time in exchange for money. No one is worth making you angry and sick, and nothing is worth risking your health on. Of course, it doesn’t mean that everyone can’t bear any grievance. After all, if you want to get higher salary and better opportunities, you have to pay a price. It’s just that you have to hold the price in your own hands. As an old HR person I met said before: When it comes to mental health in the workplace, to put it bluntly, it means "don't punish yourself for other people's mistakes, and don't starve yourself of the present with the future pie." If you can do these two things, there will basically be no big problem.