Self-healing meditation guide

The core of self-healing meditation has never been to "clear distracting thoughts" or "eliminate negative emotions", but to practice the ability to "see and allow" - you don't need to force yourself into the so-called "selfless" and "calm" state, even if your mind wanders ten times throughout the process, the moment you bring your attention back to the present moment is the healing itself.

I first came into contact with meditation 6 years ago. At that time, I had just resigned from an Internet company. I could only sleep 2 hours a day for half a month. All I could think about were the unfinished projects, the boss's PUA, and the rent to be paid next month. I sat for 20 minutes following the so-called "Introduction to Meditation from Zero Basics" on the Internet.

Later, after studying systematically with teachers from different systems, I realized that different schools of meditation have completely different definitions of "healing". Kabat-Zinn’s mindfulness system emphasizes “awareness without judgment” and its core is not fighting thoughts, which is suitable for daily management of chronic anxiety. ； Meditation in transpersonal psychology will allow you to follow your emotions and even express your suppressed feelings, which is more suitable for dealing with emotional stuck points that have already formed. ； There is also a school of inner work that has become popular in recent years, which will guide you to have a dialogue with the so-called "inner child". The essence is to help you fill in the unmet emotional needs of childhood. No one is absolutely correct, it just suits different scenarios and people. Oh, by the way, if you have clear traumatic memories, don’t practice retrospective meditation on your own, as it can easily trigger flashbacks. It’s best to do it accompanied by a counselor with experience in trauma intervention.

When I do cases myself, the introductory words I use for novices never have any mysterious content. They are adjusted repeatedly. Even if it is your first time to sit or you can’t even sit still, you can still use it. You don’t need to find a yoga mat, cross your legs, or burn incense and light candles. You need to find a sofa or chair that you can lean on, and your feet can touch the ground firmly. It’s okay to lie down, just don’t fall asleep:

“Now, move your shoulders slowly first, whatever feels comfortable. You don’t have to sit up straight. If you feel the back of your neck or waist is tight, just rub it twice. Yes, that’s it.

Now put your attention on the tip of your nose and feel that the air is cool when you go in and warm when you exhale. Just follow this feeling. There is no need to deliberately deepen your breathing. You can just breathe how you usually breathe.

Oh, yes, your mind will definitely wander. You may suddenly think of a work message that you didn't reply to in the morning, or you may think of the argument you had with a friend last week, or even your mind may be thinking about what to eat at night. It doesn't matter. You don't have to scold yourself for "why you are distracted again."

If you suddenly feel that your chest is congested or your nose is sore, you don’t need to hold it in. If you want to cry, just cry. If you want to sigh, just sigh. You don’t need to be an “emotionally stable” adult here. There is no one else here but yourself.

If you have thoughts that pop up repeatedly, such as always thinking of someone who has hurt you, there is no need to force yourself to "let go" or "forgive". You can say hello to it in your heart: "I see you, you can stay here for a while, and I will deal with you when I am ready." There is no need to drive it away.

Okay, now slowly move your fingers, move your toes, and feel the contact between your butt and the chair. If you are ready, slowly open your eyes and look at the things around you, such as the mug on the table, the tree swinging outside the window, and just return to the present moment. ”

When they first started practicing, many people always asked me, "Is it useless if I still feel uncomfortable after meditating?" I have a client who works as a designer. The first three times she did this exercise, she started crying after sitting for 5 minutes each time, and she could cry for a full 20 minutes. She always felt that she had practiced wrongly, and why the more she healed, the more uncomfortable she became. Actually no, it was the dissatisfaction with her parents that she had suppressed for five or six years that she finally had an outlet for. She didn't have to force herself to "feel refreshed after meditation". The release of emotions was part of the healing itself. There are also people who always set KPIs for themselves, saying that they must sit for 30 minutes every morning, even if it is less than a day, it is really unnecessary. When you are fishing at work, sit for 3 minutes with your eyes closed and feel your breathing. When you are squeezing the subway after get off work, listen to the guidance and feel the touch of your feet on the ground. That is all meditation. Don’t make it like a work task that must be completed, which will only increase anxiety.

Oh, by the way, don’t believe the “7-day meditation to heal the native family” and “21-day elimination of all internal friction” courses on the market. They are all about cutting leeks. I have been practicing for 6 years, but sometimes I still get distracted when I sit down. All I can think about are the unfinished manuscripts and the hot pot I want to eat at night. So what? I don’t want to be a meditation master. I just want to take 10 minutes every day. I don’t have to deal with my boss’s needs, I don’t have to reply to friends’ messages, I don’t have to worry about chores at home, and I just want to spend some time with myself quietly. Even if I am distracted for 8 of these 10 minutes, the remaining 2 minutes are completely mine. That’s enough.

If you happen to be a little tired right now, why not put down your phone and sit with the guidance just now for 3 minutes? No need to have any expectations, just sit and make money.